WEST ALLIS, Wis. — A West Allis pizza business is not afraid to do a little show and tell. If you click on its website, you'll see it's a woman-owned business, a part of the LGBTQ+ community with a mission to foster inclusion.
On social media, the owner of Flour Girl & Flame has referred to herself as "head gay", has "thrown the coolest queerest block party in the city" and is all about making employees and customers feel safe and seen.
"We see our Black trans brothers and sisters being murdered in the street every day and it's just a really helpless feeling," owner and founder Dana Spandet said. "I came out when I was 20 and the only thing my dad had to say is your life is going to get very hard. And as a white woman, it has not been that hard, but I just see everything around me, and I have a lot of gratitude for where I am but there's just a lot of work to be done."
Dana's parents have always been very supportive of her, but she understands so many people don't have that support.
"Anywhere outside of Milwaukee, you get kind of the shifty eye."
Dana is married with two children and hasn't held hands with her wife in public since 2016 after the presidential election.
"My daughter is six now and she came home and said I'm the only kid in class that has two moms. Our kids are asking us, why do they hate us?"
When asked how she talks to her children about how to respond, she said the two have been reading to them since they were born about how all families are different. It's a conversation that continues in her work with schools as she talks to kids about her experience.
She's had girls ask her if she could help them come out to their parents, in a safe way.
"It's a lot to put ourselves out here like this but I have to know someone else sees it and someone else says thank you for being an activist and a voice for the LGBT community."
It's why she wears her pride colors loudly and proudly.
"Rainbow isn't necessarily my color," she joked. "It was a kind of a long time to embrace that and realizing that I'm not wearing this rainbow because I want people to know I'm gay, I'm wearing this because people need to see it. It makes them feel safe and when I go into a restaurant and I sit down and see just a little bit of a rainbow somewhere I say you know what, I think that I'm ok here."
Flour Girl & Flame has blossomed as a safe space. It started during the pandemic in 2020, hosting weddings and outdoor events. The move led to large restaurant crowds and sparked interest in a shop that never lost its intention -- to provide a seat at the table for everyone. Its staff is made up of 80% women and about 65% are a part of the LGBTQ+ community.
And staff members are showing their strength together. Earlier this month, the team hosted a family-friendly pride event called "Ain't No Drag". It was a pop-up party in a West Allis park with music, live tattoos, drinks, food, and Drag Queen Story Hour.
"We all kind of looked at each other with relief and said we made it and it almost felt like we got away with something and that's the part that I'd like to see changed. I'd like to be able to just exist without sliding under the radar. I want to be on the radar and existing and having people just tolerate that."
Dana said she has had many neighbors that are same-sex that live in the same neighborhood as Flour Girl & Flame, say they've never seen anything like this in West Allis. They've thanked her and her staff for the representation. The comments have made Dana incredibly emotional.
It's support that speaks to a bigger story, purpose, and gratitude.
"Now when I'm driving in West Allis and I'm seeing pride flags come up and I'm driving, and I slow down just to kind of see it and I admire it."
Dana hopes to see more representation in and around West Allis.
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